I had a dramatic couple of hours yesterday involving a river, a tractor and some clay.

They more imaginative of you may have worked it all out by now, and you may have also been worrying over your hero’s health and safety. Have no fear, I was largely a bystander and everyone is ok.

A rather dramaticised account can be found after the jump (yes, I’m using ‘jumps’ now)

My brother excitedly ran into the house and hurriedly told me that our cousin had got a tractor stuck in a beck (you can read that as small river, city folk). Neil and Matt then set off around the valley trying to find someone with a bigger tractor to pull it out of it’s clay mire. Minutes later I was summoned to follow, I actually ran there (me! running!) and found a sorry state, a tractor deep, deep into the water and clay.

I feel I should point out that my cousin is an excellent and experienced driver, but the clay pocket was hidden by regular pebbles, creating the illusion of a solid bed.

Idea 1… The giant tractor made its way down the beck to get in position, Neil and Matt hooked up the woven ropes as I looked on from the banking. An almighty roar accompanied the beginning of the rescue attempt. It bucked and pulled slowly easing the stranded tractor from the clay, but alas, the ground wasn’t much more solid further up the beck and the larger tractor seemed to be digging itself in…

Idea 2… the *slightly* more dangerous option of attempting to drag it out from the side banking, which could lead to tipping over the still well dug-in tractor, with Matt still in it.

The ropes were again attached and the show started again. The larger tractor again bounced, sometimes the front wheels were a foot off the ground. This led to the ground visibly shaking (Matrix style!), I could feel it from 15 metres away. I’ve never been an earthquake before but I assume this was what a weak one felt like.

After trying for a few minutes and digging up a fair chunk of the ground with the tyres it was decided that even more horsepower would be needed…

Idea 3… during the hunt for more machinery I went back to the house to get my camera (was I really gonna miss these shots?). A digger arrived at the scene a few minutes after my re-arrival. The plan was to dig a ramp on the banking and then both vehicles would drag it out. I was slightly skeptical of this plan, but my concerns were misplaced. Very misplaced. The ramp was steep, at more than 45 degrees, but nevertheless it was a ramp. I pulled myself back and switched into movie mode on the camera. But I missed it, the power of the vehicles was such that they could move a 3 tonne tractor quicker than my camera could switch from picture to movie, crazy. A slightly relieved Matt opened the door and the accumulated water came pouring out. Mission accomplished.

… but the tractor was last seen on the back of a lorry being carted off to have a gasket replaced.