![](http://photos1.blogger.com/img/289/962/400/DSC04149.jpg title="I am the God of Sandwiches!" alt="DSC04149 I am the God of Sandwiches!" /></a><br />Now thats a bigg-ass sandwich! And my hand isn’t being used to make it look bigger, it is just genuinely a gigantic sandwich. It contained sausages, bacon, a fried egg, burger relish, lots of lettuce (to make it healthy) and mayonnaise. All wrapped in half a ‘cross-cut batard’ from Somerfield. When I was half-way through I was full, but since I am the ‘big guy’ I forced myself to eat it. <a href=)
But I’m divulging, back to Alton Towers, so it was an early start, and I wanted to look my best so I was wearing another Threadless t-shirt(with another shameless ad too). Anyway we treked it to Alton Towers (AT from now on) but it was cool, we got a good travelling sound track of Jimmy Eat World and Saves The Day, which got us to the car park by 10. Unfortunatly I lost my Make Poverty History charity-band in the car-park on the way to the monorail (monorail, Monorail, MONORAIL! Mono- D’oh) and now my wrist feels naked, it was only a small band of cloth too. After a quick monorail ride waiting in line both for the monorial itself and tickets we made it to the park for 11.
We decided anti-clockwise was the way to go so went into the park and turned right. Two rides to start the day, first a ride without a name, but pleny of centrifugal force, then oblivion, the best 0.125 seconds of ride, shame it lasts that long. We took a while getting onto oblivion though, fat people emergencies. We waited in the loading area for 10 minutes as for two sucessive cars we saw the employees of AT trying to jam morbidly obese people into the safety equipment, taking it in turns to kneel on the safty bars whilst the other tried to strech the safety belt to the harness. I felt really sorry for these people, as they became both a public spectacle and the source of much negative energy from the punters.
I could go through a massive individual description of each ride, but Im not the star of this blog (more like a satellite planetary system) and I’ve already taken enough time explaining the trivialalities of today. But suffice to say I had a totally A Awesome day and it was a total laugh , and I haven’t had fun like that in a while. But there were two more rides which made the day, duel and air.
Duel was a bad ride made good, originally the haunted house with little or no spookability someone had a fantastic idea, LETS ADD GUNS! It was a toally sweet ride where you shoot zombie vamires and monsters with lazers and rack up scores. We went on the ride twice, and although I got the highest total score over the two times, my housemate got the highest single score, but I was just happy to score over 50,000 point each time, since most people seemed to average 18,000, but trust a nerd to know how to kill zombies, I felt just like Simon Pegg. Air was awesome, for those of you who don’t know its a rollercoaster where you are inverted so that you travel facing forwards, head first. However you do no lie out, as you’re bound to a seat with your ankles and the regular shoulder harness from most rollercoasters (with a few modifications). However this position is the closest thing to bondage I’ve experienced in my life, but that wasn’t going to ruin my enjoyment, as for the whole ride I got to strike the superman pose (one arm fully extended forwards, fist clenched [not in a wheel-chair or dead, thats the Christopher Reeves pose], but you could tell I was enjoying it from the huge grin on my face on the photos afterwards.
That was the last ride of the day, and afterwards we left AT, to come home, it’s safe to say we’re knackered, and now I’m really just killing time so I don’t wake up stupidly early tommorow, anyway that was my day, trivialities accentuated, details skipped, but the day was A Awesome (the third and last time I’ll use this insider joke) and I’m done writing this blog.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,
Live in Peace people
